Stuff I Jerk Off To

Excellent orgasm tonight.  Thank you, Mr. Wilde, Mr. Keys, and [Mr.] Pure Wand.

I’m really happy this blog exists (even though I do wish it was more focused on erect penises).  Little hard dicks are really cute.

It’s always interesting to me how many people on OK Cupid have answered in the negative to the question “Would you ever consider cutting a partner (who asked for it) in sexual play?”.

I mean, I guess on its head, it does sound a little scary … but if you’re the least bit interested in BDSM or painplay, that sort of goes with the territory.  Like, if you’ve got a thing with being squeamish about blood, I can get that, but otherwise?  I think I’d be jumping with joy if a partner ever asked me to cut them.  That’s an experience you really can’t get elsewhere unless you’re a surgeon or the kind of person who gets into knifefights (and even then, that’s more of a, well, stabbing sort of occasion, I’d imagine).

I don’t know, it’s just funny to me.  SO MANY people are into the idea of sexual choking/breathplay but would scurry away from sexual cutting.  But let’s tally it up, shall we?

1) Your partner remains pretty sexy-looking; less so with choking (turning red/purple, eyes bulging, tongue flopping).

2) It’s not labor-intensive: unlike the somewhat brute force needed to choke someone, a sharp knife really does all the work for you.

3) It’s discreet.  (I don’t know much about choking and how easily the throat/neck bruises, but suffice to say, you can cut in much more discreet areas).

4) It’s safer.  Because I don’t care what anybody says, breathplay is dangerous edgeplay.  And yeah, knives are dangerous sharp things, too, but it’s really unlikely for a small superficial cut made away from major arteries to turn into an emergency.  Whereas breathplay can put you at risk of cardiac arrest even hours after you’ve played.

I guess what I’m saying is dang, I’d really like to meet someone who wanted me to cut them.  It sounds like a lot of fun or at the very least something I need to try.

So I found these amazing promo pictures for a stage play that Jonny Lee Miller and Sienna Miller starred in … they’re both very male-gazey, but the first one’s got this slightly femdommy feel to me, and well honestly, it’s Jonny Lee Miller wearing a tie and his shirt sleeves rolled up to the elbow.  I’m obligated to reblog it, because there is not enough sexy JLM in the tag.  (And some decidedly unsexy JLM.  Why would you pick that picture?!?)

*meandering through the “jonny lee miller” tag*

*sees a post about Hackers*

*reads “Jonny Lee Miller as an awkward nerdy teen whose nickname is ZERO COOL. whose rival/romantic interest Angelina Jolie has a sex dream about him and he’s wearing a strappy leather dress thing”*

*immediately adds Hackers to Netflix DVD queue*

I swear … you could post a picture of a man tied up and wearing a chastity belt while a gorgeous dominatrix flogs and berates him for his small penis while having sex with another man, and someone would STILL reblog it with a caption that reads like

You’re mine, slut, and you’ll do what Daddy wants- including getting fucked by another man when I say so.  I know you’re dying to be put in your place and have your whore holes abused, but this isn’t about what you want, cunt.

Case in point.

I just came across your blog through your answer to fyse's sex toy question, and I'm really liking what I've read of your sex/porn/bdsm/kink commentary! Thank you for being awesome on the 'net.
Anonymous

Well, thanks so much!

My kingdom for a decent femdom/malesub movie that doesn’t feature a professional dominatrix!

Narrative-wise, a professional dominatrix is not an acceptable substitute for a woman who is dominant in her personal life.  Nor is the woman who ties up some unsuspecting guy so she can take advantage (steal from him, blackmail him, etc.).  Nor is the evil female villain who sexily restrains and lightly hurts the hero.  Nor the sexy spy lady who puts on leather and grabs a whip as part of a disguise.

All these “examples” in compiled lists of femdom in mainstream movies … and no, they’re not.

Only two mainstream movies I’ve ever seen have spoken to me- Verfolgt and Going Under (the latter which doesn’t even avoid the professional dominatrix cliche, but at least makes up for it by the BDSM not solely being a job).  Walk All Over Me might get an honorable mention in that same professional-but-maybe-also-personal-life category, except that the BDSM relationship makes up approximately 3% of the entire movie’s plot.

fuckyeahsexeducation:

Give me inspiration for my “how to choose a sex toy” post and “how to use certain sex toys post”. People who buy sex toys, what qualities do you look for? What helps you decide what toys to use? What would help a beginner? Beginner, what questions do you have heading into the world of sex toys? What questions do you have about using sex toys? What toys do you wish came with better instructions? Anything I left out?

I wish I’d known earlier how pointless internal vibration is for a whole lot of people, how much stronger and more convenient plug-in vibrators are than battery-powered ones, how awful plastic and jelly toys are even regardless of toxicity (seriously, whether you care or not, they stink and are gross), and that Epiphora existed.

Hints and tips: take measurements seriously.  If need be, grab a vegetable peeler and a firm veggie and approximate it so you know how big a given toy actually will be.  I’ve been disappointed by butt plugs tinier than what I was expecting, and a Feeldoe that was bigger than I thought it’d be.  The more expensive it is does not necessarily mean it’s better.  “I’ll just use a condom with it!”- no, you won’t, so don’t buy it.  Glass toys are pretty much shatterproof, so don’t worry.  Run away from websites that call their dildos “dongs”.  Get a P.O. box if you don’t want your parents or housemates suspicious of your delivered packages.  You don’t need sex toy cleaner; soap and water will do.  Packing cocks that can supposedly also be used for fucking are gonna make you look like you have a big hard-on down your leg no matter what, so don’t be lured in- just get a good soft packer and a good hard strap-on for fucking and switch them out.  You probably won’t be able to keep that internal strap-on in; get a harness just to help hold things in place.  Forget trying to keep the boxes the toys come in; they take up way too much space.  Never feel bad for having a lot of toys or collecting them.  Vibrating nipple clamps are pointless.  Flanges on anything that goes up the booty.  Double-ended dildos, by and large, should be avoided.  “Cute” toys (Hello Kitty, etc.) are not worth your time.  Don’t bother with “incognito” toys like lipstick vibrators or whatever; just hide your fucking sex toys like a normal person.  You can’t get addicted to a vibrator but you can get accustomed, so switch back to fingers if you do.  Sex toy companies all ship and bill discreetly, so you can stop asking about it now.  Dildos with holes in them for bullet vibrators still don’t transmit much vibration, so just invest in a fucking strong (Wahl or Hitachi) vibe to apply to a dildo if you wanna feel the vibrations all the way in.  Unless you really fucking love balls, your dildo doesn’t need any.  Good guys aren’t threatened by sex toys.  It’s honestly not a problem if you don’t wash them right away.  BDSM starter kits are terrible- save up your money for good quality a piece at a time and use pervertibles in the meantime.  Amazon sometimes has toys cheaper than sex toy retailers.  G-spot fun takes time and has a learning curve, so don’t be disappointed if a G-spot toy doesn’t wow you instantly (especially if you’ve never played with your G-spot before).

gentlemandomblr:

Who is the dominant 
Is she offering to cuffs to him so he can tie her up like a dirty whore 
Or
Is she suggesting that he should be a good little boy and put them on 

My favorite thing about pictures like this is that it’s ambiguous!  You can view it either way.  (And it’s almost like a Rosarch test in what scenario you see first).

gentlemandomblr:

Who is the dominant 

Is she offering to cuffs to him so he can tie her up like a dirty whore 

Or

Is she suggesting that he should be a good little boy and put them on 

My favorite thing about pictures like this is that it’s ambiguous!  You can view it either way.  (And it’s almost like a Rosarch test in what scenario you see first).